Advice Column Break: Special Report: The Pioneer Woman Just Emailed Me.

12 Dec
date Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 8:13 PM
subject You’re not even worth my time
hide details 8:13 PM (3 minutes ago)
From what I understand, and from what you yourself admit on your blog, you have:
1. Run away from your responsibilities as a father and a husband.
2. Advocated such enlightened propositions as a “baby cap” and “baby license” requirement for all Americans, due to the fact that you are, self-admittedly, “anti-children.”
3. Provided advice to the scant few pathetic readers of your pathetic little blog consisting of topics such as “How to avoid paying alimony and child support.” (And perhaps you’d like to tell your readers exactly what it was that you did to deserve that mugshot profile picture that you have? It’s very becoming of you, I’m sure).
You are a real winner, John Ferris, let me tell you. As for your public challenge via Twitter and Facebook to a proposed “blog off,” presumably a competition to see which of us is the “better blogger,” I think it’s safe to say that you’ve already lost, my friend. My readership is in the millions. You are like an irritating little fly buzzing around my ranch.

3 Responses to “Advice Column Break: Special Report: The Pioneer Woman Just Emailed Me.”

  1. Jody January 24, 2011 at 5:03 am #

    Now THAT sounds like what is probably the real Ree! Finally the truth is revealed and the phony sweetness exposed.

  2. Rechelle December 13, 2010 at 4:28 pm #

    Well I guess she SHORE told you! Isn’t she such a great writer!

    You’re hilarious!
    But I must know what you wrote to her.

    • absenteedaddy December 14, 2010 at 8:17 am #

      You’re hilarious too, my friend. The puppet show theater is priceless. You’re an exception to “Because fuck Mommy Blogs.” I guess because you’re kind of anti-Mommy blog in the way you Mommy blog, or something. It’s all very snake eatings its own tail, I guess, but suffice to say I like your style.

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