Question #17: “Is Santa Real?”

26 Dec

8 year old Bobby Hollister from Louisville sent me this question. First of all, ho ho ho, Merryyyy Christmas, Bobby! What’s that, Bobby, is that the sound of Santa on his way? I hope you’ve been a good little boy, and remembered to leave a plate of cookies and a glass of milk out on the table, because Santa works up quite an appetite going around to all the houses of all the little boys and girls in all the whole wide world!

Second of all, of course Santa isn’t real, you little imbecile.  What a dumb-shit question. You’re obviously incapable of thinking logically, Bobby, so please, don’t ever email me again, you silly little shit.

Hope that helped, Bobby.

Looking for an advice columnist to meet your holiday needs? I’m the guy! Email me at and together, we’ll make some holiday cheer!


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