Advice Column Break: Daddy’s 1st Competition/Giveaway

15 Feb

I’ve noticed that a lot of bloggers– mom bloggers especially, of course– use this strategy of having giveaways and competitions and shit to increase blog traffic or whatever it is they’re doing. At first I thought to myself, “No way I’ll ever do that. I’ll take my 100 hits a day to the fucking grave with me before I pull some shit like that.” Plus there’s the fact that I don’t have anything to give away, really.

But see, after that last post, Question #26, where I definitively answered the question as to whether cats or dogs are better, I received quite a few messages regarding cats. Some of them were from the staunchly pro-cat camp, demanding, of course, that I reconsider my stance on the cat/dog question. These people are, of course, wrong, though they will, tragically, never realize it.

A few emails were in support of my obviously spot-on assessment of the cat/dog question.

But by far, the largest number of emails I received regarding Question #26 involved the Cat Picture Counter, which, again, you’ll find just to the right, and is currently at 1 (again, that photo of the unilion did not, in fact, count as a cat picture in any way). It turns out people feel as though that Cat Picture Counter needs to rise in number, despite the fact that 18 percent of the internet does already consist of cat pictures, and despite the fact that cats are evil pony murderers, as I recently explained to 7 year old Mandy.

Well, fine. 6 people spoke, and Daddy listened.

Now don’t go getting used to this, but Daddy’s willing to make a compromise. If the people want cat pictures on this blog, then the people are going to have to earn it.

So here’s the deal. I will allow more cat pictures on this blog, but only if someone can propose a non-vapid, stylish, hopefully educational and highly creative way of justifying the presence of those cat pictures. Let me be clear: this is no easy task. Should you succeed in convincing me with your proposed approach to getting pictures of cats on this blog, I will literally publish you on this blog and Paypal you  8 dollars*. This is not a joke. So put on your cat thinking caps, and email me at absenteedaddy@gmail.com, for your chance to win credited publication on this prestigious blog, which has, like no other blog, been answering all questions ever, since December, 2010.

*8 dollar reward subject to change without notice. Certain restrictions, limitations, and exclusions apply. Offer void where prohibited. Absentee Daddy reserves the right to accept or deny any proposed Cat Picture Counter scheme and accompanying promised 8 dollar reward portion of offer. Offer not valid in Kentucky, Hawaii, North Dakota, New York, Chicago, California, Germany, Africa, any where north or south of the Mason-Dixon Line, Italy, Mumbai, Australia, Portland, Akron, Helsinki,  the decent parts of Newark, or the Andes.

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One Response to “Advice Column Break: Daddy’s 1st Competition/Giveaway”

  1. Dog Help Guy March 16, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

    Dogs are way better. Crazy cat fans? No doubt.

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